Today I share with you a unique Coaching practice I trained in my last Co-Active Coaching course with CTI. I call it: getting unstuck through new perspectives.
> To make it more real, let’s take the very common example of what might annoy most of us… We often say: “The weather is crappy today!”
And then, we develop many negative thoughts from it and cary this negative emotion all day long with us. Why is that? And, how can we change our mind?
I explain you how to get unstuck in the 4 steps below.
1- Separate the real facts from the biased perception of reality
When we live through this situation, it definitely feels real! What we see becomes what we feel. As it has always been that way, we conclude that this is true. As we have done this all our life, our brain is automatically wired to react the same way. The same thought triggers the same automatic reactions of negative emotions and behaviors.
Now, we will work to reroute the automatic neuronal response by training our brain muscle.
The first exercise is to notice the negative emotions or reactions that arise and take a step back. Once we realize that our perceived reality might be biased, we can act with a clear mind. Then, we are able to distinguish between the topic and the current perception we have of it.
This is the first step to boost your brain muscle and achieve long-lasting happiness.
> Coming back to our case, the topic is “the weather” and our current perception is that it is crappy.
Therefore, be clear on what your current perspective is. Now, accept that it is your current viewpoint, but that it can change. This will help for the second stage.
2- Imagine new perspectives
I propose you 2 main ways to project yourself into new perspectives. You can try both, or choose the one that fits you best.
- Someone else’s perspective
Put yourself in the shoes of someone else, that you know would see the situation in a different way than you. Depending on the topic, it can be someone close to you or someone from your imagination.
> In our example, I can easily imagine a person that would enjoy that rainy weather. I can also understand that for someone who experiences lots of dry seasons, rain is a miracle.
This helps you to take a step back on what you are going through. And it makes you realize that it is not that bad after all. It reinforces that your perception is not the reflection of reality but only a point of view at a certain time.
- Going wild
Above all, I want to introduce you the core concept of Balance Coaching of the Co-Active model. The principle is to take you out of yourself. Through this exercise, you experience different worlds, different environments, and even different bodies.
First, allow yourself to let your imagination go wild. You need to free yourself from feeling judged by others and by yourself.
You can now consider many different perspectives. This can be… an object in front of you, your favorite dish, an animal, your last vacation, what you see through the window, etc.
There is no limit and no restriction!
One-by-one, choose each perspective. Visualize it intensively and integrate the energy and emotions that it procures. What does it do? What does it make you think of? Now, feel it in your body. You can make silly gestures!
> Now, let’s take back our example, and I will take the perspective of the cup of tea I have now in front of me. If I focus on it, I see warmth, coziness, relaxation, solidity, and reinsurance. I can visualize myself being hugged and feeling rested.
3- Merge the newly discovered insights
Then, being in this state of mind and energy, draw a parallel with your topic. What new insights did the perspective give you? What else do you see now?
> About our topic, I gained the insight that it can be enjoyable to experience crappy weather. It enables you to ensure to take things slow and enjoy coming back home and feel comfortable.
4- Move into action and commit
To lock down your new discovery, it is time to decide which actions you can take right now. This will change your viewpoint and your automatic reactions in the long-term.
Considering the new insights and the new positive view of your topic, what can you start doing now? It doesn’t have to be a big action at all. Indeed, the smaller the better. It enables you to realize your progresses and keep up your motivation.
> Now, my commitment about our weather situation is: every time I perceive the weather as crappy, I take 20 minutes to get cozy with a cup of tea and a comfy blanket.
(So Hygge isn’t it? See my previous video on Hygge for more details)
Don’t forget to commit to your action and hold yourself accountable. Step-by-step, you develop your resilience to negative events and improve your well-being and happiness.
> I already feel better and want to try it right now.
What do you think of this exercise? Powerful, right?
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Is there a topic you are stuck with? Something you find difficult to deal with? Contact me if you want to try new perspectives together!
For more info about my Life, Career & Mindset Coaching, visit my website: annelaurecoaching.com
